So I’ve woken up this morning felling… Tormented? Anxious? I’m not quite sure what the right word to describe it is, however I just know I have to write.
I feel like I am going through stages, literally within a course of the week.
First of all, I was pissed off because I had been – I guess – ‘friendzoned’, then I sent a ‘closure’ message to my ex & after that I was happy because it meant I could focus on me & my dreams.
Yet, this morning, I have woken up feeling lost. I just wish I could get out there into the world quicker than is possible.
I keep having feelings that I want to up & leave this town, but I can’t as I have responsibilities. Responsibilities I wanted, yet they don’t seem great right now. Having a mortgage to pay when you don’t like your job is not great. I mean who invented adulthood?!
Have you ever felt that you wish you could just click your fingers, imagine a place (whether it be in your mind or real life) & be there. Be able to spend as much time as you needed, to figure yourself out, find clues as to what next steps you need to take & why certain things happen.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen & we have to figure it out alone. I know what I want to do & that’s to be able to write & being about to connect with people, yet I still feel like I’m waiting for that epiphany moment, where I just know.
It’s a beautiful day here & I really should be getting ready to leave for work. But me getting this all out before I start my day is really helping. I feel like a weight is being lifted off.
It’s almost like another form of yoga, one of which I did bleary eyed at half 5 this morning..
I always believed myself to be a story writer. I have two main stories, one of which needs some serious editing, I have known for a while though, that writing is what I feel I am good at. Ok, maybe not perfect & I will probably edit something 100 times – but who out of all of us on here hasn’t?!
So, I’m curious, did any of you have a ‘ping!’ moment when you knew this is what you wanted to do for life?
I really best get going.. Thank you for reading this random ‘emergency’ post today. I feel so much better & like I’m ready to tackle the day.
With love, as always